


Ineffable Inktober Day 6: Shopping

by Quefish



Series: Ineffable Inktober 2019 [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Friendship, Gardens & Gardening, Gen, Ineffable Inktober, Nanny Crowley (Good Omens), Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 17:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish
Summary: A gardener who can't garden needs help!





	Ineffable Inktober Day 6: Shopping

Shopping

“Crowley, I-”

“Do _not_ call me that. That isn’t right at the moment, _Francis_.” The tall red haired woman hissed in the short, portly man’s face. She stood up straight again, straightening her smart jacket and running her hand over her hair making sure that it was in place. She continued in a soft and lilting Scottish accent. “Now, what can I help you with, Brother Francis?”

Brother Francis coughed and his voice deepened before replying. “Of course, Nanny Ashtoreth, my apologies. I was hoping I could speak to you about something when you have free time?”

Nanny tilted her head questioningly before nodding. “Certainly. Young Warlock will be down for a nap shortly, if you’d care to meet in the kitchens in an hour?”

Francis nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, Much appreciated, Nanny.”

~~~~~

“You can’t possibly be serious. You decided to be a gardener, for Hell’s sake!” 

“I just thought it would be watering plants and mowing the lawn! Not making changes!”

“Alright, what do they want?” Nanny was pinching her nose under the bridge of her glasses.

“What’s an Edwardian Perennial Border?”

Nanny groaned as she put her head in her hands. “Fine, be ready to go tomorrow morning just after breakfast. Warlock is going off with his parents to a birthday party, and I am contractually dis-obligated to attend. Crowley will take you, Francis.”

Francis started to say thank you, but was cut off with a very sharp glare, so settled for a nod instead.

~~~~~

A portly buck-toothed gardener and a slender man with shoulder length red hair wandered a local garden center. 

“Right, now knowing you, you aren’t going to take care of them properly, so we need to get something with the least fuss possible.” Crowley zipped through displays grabbing flowers and small bushes and loading them onto a flat trolley. He tried to tell the gardener what they each were, but realized quickly that it was not sinking in. “Ok, lucky they don’t want the entire yard done this way, only the path from the door to the gazebo, you said?” Francis nodded. “This should be good for a start, we’ll seed the rest, otherwise it’ll overgrow too quickly.”

“Crowley, you are very go- er, _skilled_ at this. I’m sure your expertise will go a long way to a, uh, successful, er, _Arrangement_.” 

Crowley moved his head slightly, implying he was rolling his eyes. “Right. Which seeds d’you want, then? Any of the ones on this wall’ll do. Then we’ll get some of the right plant food, and we should be done.”

Francis picked out some lovely white, and light blue, flowers, catching another full head eyeroll in his peripheral vision. He added a dark violet flower as well, earning him a begrudging not quite smile. “Is that enough, or should there be more?”

“Nope, with that, and what I’ve already got, it’ll be fine.” He grabbed the plant food he wanted and they headed to the till.

The young lady rang up their purchases and Crowley turned to Francis. “Who’s paying for this?” Francis turned an interesting shade of pink and the girl slowed in ringing up the plants, just in case she had to dismiss the order. “You’re joking, yeah?”

“I don’t exactly carry a credit card, Crowley.”

Crowley made an odd frustrated growl in his throat. “Fine, but lunch is on you for … how much is it? … Ah, at least 2 years, looks like.” He pulled out his credit card and finished the transaction before they brought everything out to the car they’d borrowed from the Dowlings. After loading it up, Crowley tapped his foot impatiently as Francis brought the trolley back into the shop instead of leaving it in the lot. “Leaving them in the car-park creates jobs, you know.”

“It doesn’t, and you know it.” Francis primly climbed into the car and gave Crowley a pointed look as they sped off. “I know you dislike hearing it, and I shall do my best to not say it. You have done something today that I couldn’t have done on my own. Warlock will be very happy tomorrow when I let him make a great mess, digging along the path tomorrow.”

Crowley smiled fondly, “Yeah, he will. Great kid that little hellspawn. Hope you have fun.”

The gardener snickered, and then louder at the questioning look from Crowley. “And I hope _you_ have fun too, cleaning him up after I send him to his rooms following a job well done.”

Another frustrated growl escaped him as they pulled around the back of the house to unload the plants. “I thought you were the nice one? See if I ever take you shopping again.”


End file.
